Sunday, March 2, 2008

pavement pebble pizza

this is how terrible i am...
I rode my bike up to the bike rack strategically located in front of the pizza hut and locked it and made my way to the post office at the end of Laie shopping center. i dropped my letters into the slot and walked back to my bike. A young lady carrying 6 boxes of pizza walked out from the restaurant and as she walked passed me the redolent smell wafted to my olfactory nerves and struck an undeniable craving. I.... NEED....PIZZA!-my little heart screamed. I impulsively walked into the pizza hut and ordered the biggest pizza they had to offer. The lady told me it would be a 15 minute wait- just enough time to go to foodland and get.....more.....food. My 5 minute trip to drop off outgoing mail was now turning into a full out shopping trip.
And that it did. never - ever go shopping on an empty stomach. in 15 minutes i found myself returning to the pizza hut with 4 bulging plastic bags worth of who knows what- don't ask it was on sale!
the lady brought me my pizza with a smile and asked if their was anything she could get. I asked if she could put the over-sized pizza box in a plastic sack. she pointed to the sacks that they had and said, "oh, we do- but they are not big enough for the new yorker pizza box, sorry."
Oh thats okay, i will just put it on my handle bars with all my other groceries- no problem....yeah.
as i was trying to juggle the groceries and the pizza on my bike the box slipped and i barely caught it with a few fingers. but my grip was on the end opposite from the opening. so a bunch of slices of pizza fell out on the pavement. crap! i looked around to see if any one saw and then quickly put them back in the box and rode off.
as i was riding home i rode past the boys house just across the street from our house and i had a fabulous idea. maybe they would like some pizza. so i invited them over for some. i situated the pizza slices that had fallen on the ground closest to them- but they took other unscathed pieces. dangit.
Alas, another one of the boys came over and he graciously took a piece that had fallen on the ground. i am so glad i didn't have to waste any food. i know i can always count on my male counterparts to eat food that has been tainted. Jessie's mom was right, they are like dogs in so many ways.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

C'mon Amos! You can't eat pizza dropped on the ground but you can eat everything else with ants crawling all over it? (Don't try to deny it, I'm an eyewitness)

I say go ahead and enjoy the extra protein with the dogs.

shimmyshimmy said...

i never ate no ant in front of no body

Derek Rowe said...

Great anecdote. Especially the part about the redolent smell reaching your olfactory nerves. I think what you need to do is hone your bike-riding-with-baggage skills. What if you could ride the bike with the pizza box on the handlebars, your fingers clinging to the bags of 'who knows what' that was on sale, and an ice cream cone? Or I guess shaved ice is more the island way.

If your male counterparts are like canines ('dogs' conjures up imagery that is just too pejorative to repeat) in so many ways because one 'graciously' ate your fallen pizza, what simile would you have drawn if he refused the tainted pizza?

Derek

shimmyshimmy said...

ha ha ha!! have you seen me cruising on my bike before? that is me to a tee! you'd be amazed to see what i can tote on my cruiser. you got me on the similes- first of all because i failed to clue him in that the pizza was tainted. bad on me. i guess we are all 'canines' in our turn.

Life out Here said...

Umm, I would have eaten that pizza. Shoot.